Humans lie and that’s a fact of life. We mostly lie to protect ourselves or someone we care about though and when we are in love with someone lies can become protective rather than deceitful. Lying to a woman can be a double edged sword because if she finds out that you are deceiving her you may lose her forever. Women can be hurt by lies even if they are small ones. She will be suspicious and may never quite trust her man again.  There are some instances however in which lies are to be expected and may well be forgiven over time.

The truth hurts

Men who have led a busy life sexually before meeting the “love of his life” often make it a point to keep their shady past to themselves. A woman may worry that she is going to be compared to women from his past and may fall short of his expectations. Nothing could be further from the truth. If he chooses her he does so because she is not like anyone from his past and finds her special and unique with her own special attributes. Women in his past are exactly that… past history. However, if a man who has had an ex-flame who is hard to forget .. or to match by any other woman, it is best to keep that information close to your chest.

She tries to look her best just for you

Most women (and men as well) are somewhat vain and need to have their ego bolstered from time to time. When she asks if she looks alright you must give her an affirmative and positive response. It’s the old cliché “do I look fat in this dress” that needs to be addressed with a positive answer even if she doesn’t exactly look her best. She did try to please you and that deserves a complementary answer. There never is an ideal time for any negative responses and this is no joking matter for the woman in your life.

Never let yourself seem “needy” for her attention

So you have fallen deeply in love with the most gorgeous woman you’ve ever met and you try to relate this to her by being super complimentary and doting on her every word. Especially early on in a relationship this can appear to be overly needy or even to the point of being a stalker. Not that you will want to be aloof or overly cool when it comes to having a conversation but do be respectful of her and give her as much space as she wants. Clingy men (or women) can be stifling in a relationship and drive the other party away simply by becoming scarily over desperate for the other’s attentions.

Keep personal criticism to yourself

No one appreciates it when their relatives or friends are criticized. When you tell your girlfriend her mother is fat or her brother seems dumb she will take it personally and dislike you for it. It’s never proper to “diss” someone she cares about and has since way before you came along. So what if her mom is chubby or her dad is balding? You’ll be there one day and will hope she doesn’t make comments about you as you did about those she loves.

It comes down to sex and “having” sex

Men are animals. Well that is exactly true. We are all animals unless we are minerals or vegetables (and even vegetables use sex to procreate at some point). Sexual urges are what life is all about. We want to have sex with someone that is appealing to us, someone that we are attracted to. This is Mother Nature’s way of continuing the race. We hope to better ourselves by finding a mate who is slightly better than we ourselves are and better than our parents were in order to improve the gene pool. When we feed a line to that special someone, telling her we come from a fine line of healthy intelligent homo sapiens we are most likely telling her a little white lie. We may actually be from a long line of knuckle dragging, straight from the cave, decidedly average men who only wish to better the family tree by selecting her to share in the creation of a new and improved generation. Simply said he does want the opportunity to better himself and she may well take this as a compliment and appreciate that wry sense of humor. However, it is a fine line to tread and you should never make it all about sex. She may appreciate feeling “needed” but it can easily transgress into “being used”. Be careful to stick to delicate feelings and even when you discuss sex, never make it all about procreating or about just fulfilling your basic instincts. Try to make it sound that you are touching her only and only because you love her.

Men hate the act of dating and being compared with any other men in her life. His biggest competition is often her father and he’s difficult to top. But lying will never be an effective method of showing off. Try to be yourself … because that’s who she is most attracted to, still be careful of the words you let escape your lips.

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Whether it’s your first date with that someone special or your first date… period, it should be a fun and memorable experience for you both. There is plenty of advice to be found on the internet but much of it relates to how NOT to act on that very first dating experience. This is not a commitment for life and your conversation does not need to be letter perfect. Stressing out over the small details will only make for an uncomfortable time for the two of you. Let’s look at how to relax, make your partner feel relaxed, and just have fun while enjoying each other’s company.

#1 Ice Breakers:

The art of conversation is an important asset in any relationship and getting to know each other is vital for further development of that relationship. Ask questions but don’t get too personal at first. Initiate the conversation by showing an interest in his or her likes, dislikes, hobbies, job (or school activities), and even if they have brothers or sisters. Of course some of these subjects relate to your ages but showing an interest makes the other party feel you are truly interested in them. At this point you do not want to “tell all” about yourself. Personal info such as details regarding your ex, telling your date your parents drink to much or your big brother is in jail simply qualify as giving out “too much information” too early on in the relationship. Ask your date what he or she likes to eat, what type of cars they like, what school subjects they like and or are best at, do they dance, what movie have they watched recently, what is their favorite movie, or what type of music do they listen to most often. All of this is considered “ice breaker” conversation and exchanging this type of info will help the relationship move forward.

#2 Always Use Good Manners to Impress:

Being on time for your dates (especially that first one) is vital to any relationship and absolutely rude if you’re not. How would you feel if you were left waiting while your date is busy socializing with someone else, leaving you as a second thought? Dress for the occasion. If you are going out to a movie and planning to grab a bite to eat at a fast food restaurant after, dress casually but be clean in appearance. More formal dates such as a prom or going to a night club call for more dressy attire and you can get some great hints from your local department store’s clothing department employee. They most likely will know what is popular with those in your age group today. Parents try to be helpful but may be a bit behind the times when it comes to date attire. And asking your friends is most likely asking for disaster.

#3 Like a good scout you must be prepared

Never start out your first date (or subsequent ones) unprepared. Have plenty of money for the dinner, dance, movie, etc. plus gas and a reliable vehicle. Women need to carry at least money for phone calls and cab fare home. You just never know when that first date will turn sour and with money you won’t be stranded. Dining at a popular restaurant? Make sure you can get a table by making a reservation.

#4 Rude behavior is unacceptable on a date:

Whether this is your first date with someone new or not you need to be polite and think of the other person as being someone important in your life. Do not spend time on your cell phone unless you are calling 911. Do not talk about your previous dates and who you know. An ex partner is never a good topic of conversation. Do not brag about yourself and your accomplishments (especially those sexual ones). You do not want to scare off your new companion with tall tales or obvious lies. Same goes for revealing your psychological issues (everyone has some) such as sleeping with your “teddy bear”, wearing silk under garments, or how your mother made you sleep with her until you were ten. This may all be part of life but keep it to yourself until you know someone much better. They’ll have plenty of “skeletons in the closet” to relate to you as well.

#5 Remember that you can only make one first impression

Maybe the most important advice is to relax and have a good time. If you are tense your date will feel it and may even wonder if you actually want to be there with them. Tell your companion you are happy to be with them and glad they accepted your invitation. Complement but don’t get too personal (avoid the sex stuff until later). If you are nervous let them know that because most likely they are also. Talk about current events, news, favorite movies, people, your church, or school but don’t hog the conversation. Let your date do most of the talking and your evening will be filled with warm friendship that will lead to more. And ask them out for a second date before the first one ends.

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Men appreciate knowing when a gal is interested in them simply so they don’t have to feel that sting of rejection if she’s not exactly drawn to him. Body language plays a big part in demonstrating physical attraction but plain old chemistry also applies. A man gets confused by a woman who is too subtle or even misdirected when it comes to giving signals displaying interest in further contact with him. Below are some of the signs she might be agreeable to seeing more of you:

1)    When she’s obviously nervous around you she may display nervousness and seem flighty or fidgety when you are around her, she may be shy and hoping you will make the first move. Try to gently confront her and ask her questions about her day or her job or even what she likes and dislikes. This can break the ice and get the ball rolling to establish a relationship that can move forward.

2)    Just the opposite can establish her interest when she become more aggressive and displays her interest by making you notice her presence by being present where ever you are. When she just happens to be where she knew you would be next and may even bump into you as you pass by. She is making you notice she is alive and interested in you. While men tend to be more direct in their approach they do miss the subtle signs many women offer up.

3)    That old “black magic” we call body language is the equivalent of giving off signals that mean she’s flirting with you. Sidelong glances, big smiles, touching your arm, playfully tossing her hair, fidgeting with items, and leaning in to get closer when you speak to her are each clues that she is especially interested in getting to know you better, so make your move and join in on the flirtatiousness.

4)    You have found from asking women in the past that if they really aren’t interested in you they always seem to be “unavailable” when you ask them out. The opposite is true when she truly has an interest in getting to know you better. She will be free and willing to meet you anytime and anywhere when she is coming on to you. She will most likely give you her phone number and maybe even her e-mail address so you can expand on your communication.

5)    If she’s truly interested in a long term relationship with you she will be curious about your job, salary range, education, and how much you see in the future. Don’t let this be a turn off for you, She is most likely not a “gold digger” but is merely trying to determine if you are worth investing her time, and perhaps her future in.

6)    Jealousy is always a clear cut sign she has become interested enough to care whether there are other women in your life. She will want to have you and your time all to herself. This is most likely a sign she has high hopes for a future with you but beware that some women are just plagued by the green eyed monster no matter what. The jealousy thing can go too far for either sex, and when it does relationships can be torn apart. If you care for her try reassuring her you only have eyes for her.

7)    Perhaps the most obvious signal she is interested in you is demonstrated by eye contact. Lingering looks and standing up close and personal to the point of almost touching are sure signs you have captivated her interest and she wants you to move forward to the next step. The close up gazes may be accompanied with blushing when you return her looks. She realizes her interest is being reciprocated and loves the idea.

8)    When she offers to cook for you she is trying to take it to the next level and show you how domesticated she can be. This is, of course, the opposite of her playfulness even though both go hand in hand with a solid relationship. 

After some or most of these signs are displayed ask her out and see where it goes from there. This sounds like a good beginning on a lasting loving relationship. Find great deals on dating on perfectmatch.com. Use a perfetcmatch coupon for more savings.

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Women fall for a self confident man. They are impressed when he takes the initiative and opens doors for her, pulls back her chair, and shows her how important she is to him. These things are more important than sending her flowers (although they rank right up there as well). She will be impressed when you treat her with respect and listen to what she has to say. There are some guidelines to help men who perhaps are a bit shy when it comes to dating and by following them men are assured of making a good and lasting impression.
8 helpful suggestions to win her over
#1 Make and maintain eye contact. By looking her directly in the eyes you appear to have a confidence that tells her she can feel safe in your presence. Same goes for appearing “shifty eyed” in her presence. Looking all around and avoiding eye contact give a deceitful appearance like if you are lying to her.

#2 Give her space! Men often make the mistake of crowding her before she has the opportunity to get to know him, feel safe in his presence, and want him closer. This does not mean the man must stand back or hide in her presence, just give her space so she won’t feel pressured.

#3 Do not slouch. Men with slouched shoulders tend to appear weak or even effeminate. Stand or sit confidently in a relaxed fashion. She will soon want to snuggle up next to you.

#4 Let her see you admiring her. In fact make a point of letting her know you think she is beautiful and sexy. She will definitely want more attention from you.

#5 Try not to blush or appear anxious or nervous when you are with her. This makes you look timid and lacking in self confidence which is the exact opposite impression you want to give.

#6 Don’t be a somber puss. Try not to show your overly serious side just yet. You will want to let her know how serious you are later on but do not scare her off by giving the impression you are too somber as it will make you appear needy.

#7 Try to control your body “ticks” and other signs of ADD. Most of us have some nervous ticks that most of the time simply go unnoticed. But this new woman in your life will be checking you out and if she is turned off by your popping your knuckles continually or licking your lips, she may decide she needs to look elsewhere for a male companion.

#8 Slow down your conversation. Speak more slowly and listen when she talks. Rushing the conversations will only appear to her as though you are in a hurry to get away from her. Let her tell you about herself if she’s willing. It’s a good icebreaker and she will feel appreciated.

Ready for that first kiss?

Dating means you enjoy each others company and hopefully it will progress into much more. If she is ready and willing to exchange that first kiss you will most likely know by her body language or simply through a mutual feeling or aura that comes from attraction to each other. The first date will determine how far the relationship may go and if you both enjoy each other’s company that’s a very good sign. Try a bit of teasing and flirting before getting close enough to touch lips. Don’t pressure her and in fact she may make the first move when she wants to be kissed. Holding hands and being in a quiet romantic place can help make that magic moment happen. Women love to be courted and wooed so once you both feel relaxed enough, it’s time to move in for that first intimate touch of the lips. Look into her eyes (until you are close enough to actually kiss) and lock in on her. This can almost feel telepathic when done right as she may think you’ve hypnotized her. After that first kiss you will most likely be able to tell if and when she is ready for more close contact.

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How do you prepare for that very first kiss? You know, the one that will be so extra special if you can only do it right the first time. Kissing, whether giving or receiving is a special gesture that has many different meanings. Our Mother (and even our Dad) kiss us from the time we are born and we kiss back… sometimes. But learning the fine art of the KISS is not a game for kids. When we really like someone and want to be closer to them kissing is among the first steps toward becoming intimate. Hand shakes are best left for older folks, like our grandparents age, and hugging is OK among friends. But the kiss means I like you and you are someone special to me.

How can you learn the technique of good kissing?

You can get some valuable help from your mom or dad when you want to learn to dance for that first grade school dance. But kissing is another thing altogether. Watch your folks kiss when he comes home from work or whatever. You will notice they have a definite connection through their lips that is easy to tell they are a pair; that they have a connection that goes beyond just the physical contact between their lips. A quick simple kiss can be a means of communication such as “how was your day?” and “I’ve missed you”. How can you learn that technique without a partner? Try using a mirror or even the back of your fingers. Kissing a mirror will let you see up close and personal how you will look when you give that kiss, and don’t forget to close your eyes when you do the real thing!  When you place your lips on the back of your hand, on your fingers, it will feel close to someone else lips on yours because they are much more flexible than a mirror, not to mention warmer. Just practice until you feel comfortable with the action, then you are ready to move on to the real thing.

Timing is everything when it comes to that first kiss

Kissing is all about the timing. Exactly when to try for that first kiss and how long it should last are crucial to any romance continuing from that point on. As an example lets say you’ve had your first date and now you take her home from the dance, movie, restaurant, or where ever you’ve been. Eye contact is so important and you should have made good up close eye contact with each other throughout the evening. Look deeply into each other’s eyes and simply try to speak to each other through that eye contact. You can actually feel the energy and, hopefully, good vibrations from your contact with each other. Slowly move in closer and your date will most definitely know by now that you intend to try for that very first kiss of your relationship. Close your eyes when you get close then touch lips, ever so softly and gently at first. This first kiss can be brief and most often it should be for that first date. This can be almost a “teaser” for what can happen later. This tender gentle approach will work every time.

Closed lips eventually lead to open mouth and finally introduce the tongue

By starting out slowly your romance will soon blossom. Don’t rush into that first kiss and this will result in your date wanting more instead of fighting you off. Soft, slow, gentle, and hesitant kisses turn into longer and more intense lip contact so try to follow your date’s lead by this time. If he or she wants to try for more, and you are ready, let your lips linger and press in a little harder (but don’t try to knock out the other’s teeth). Just don’t press the issue and you will find (if your date wants more from you) they match your intensity and may even open their lips first. This will most often lead to simple tongue touching but can turn into even more intimate contact and result in a French kiss! The French kiss is very intimate as you are exploring inside your sweetheart in a sense. Intertwining tongues often leads to even more intimate encounters but when you move slowly you will be more apt to find your partner is agreeable.

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Think of successful flirtation as “friendly with benefits.”  Not zero to sex in the flutter of a well-curled eyelash, but the unmistakable promise of more than just a refreshing beverage and a clumsy bounce around the dance floor.  Think of failed flirtation as your personal, extra pathetic episode of “The Jersey Shore”—just skanky and embarrassing, entertaining for the audience only because it is so skin-crawling awkward and awful. 

Successful flirtation doubles as an invitation to romance; failed flirtation registers as a tasteless, joyless, and generally boring solicitation of sex, the conversational equivalent of sending cell-phone pictures of your junk.  Two words suffice: Just don’t.  You may have won big trophies as all-pro bedsman, and you may star as the hero of every girl’s fantasy league, but if you have nothing of value to say, you might as well just keep walkin’.  Snooki is available, but the cool girls are not.

Flirt fantastically by keeping it real.  Show your brains and personality, and especially show your respect for the woman on the receiving end of your wit and charm.  Manners matter.  Look her in the eyes, and listen to what she says, responding appropriately with just a hint of pique.  Remember that it’s a conversation, not a commercial.  Don’t bother with razzle-dazzle; invest heavily in sincerity.  Don’t work on perfecting the playbook for big scores; instead, think about how to lay the groundwork for dating and relationship.  Most of all, avoid the five fatal mistakes…

The pathetic pick-up line

No matter how long and how well you have rehearsed, no matter how suave you looked in the mirror, you cannot deliver the line with anything vaguely resembling panache.  “Is heaven missing an angel?”  Seriously?  Think about it: The pick-up line is a poor substitute for a decent conversation starter, and it suggests you intend to start the discussion with a compliment.  Therefore, use your powers of observation and develop a genuine compliment.  Most women send subtle, often unconscious signals about the sources of their vanity. The girl in stylish new pumps will pose to call attention to her high-fashion footwear.  Imprint your style on delivery of, “Hi.  I love your shoes.  Very stylish.”  If you have observed carefully and accurately, your compliment and the woman’s self-consciousness perfectly will match-up.  Hint: the more your compliment goes to something subtle, the more you will show you have paid attention. The necklace matters more than the little black dress.

Failure to launch

You have been sitting there at the bar making serious eye contact, affecting your best imitation of an international man of mystery, smoking pensively and looking sultry as hell.  All the elements of a very pretty picture, but it is supposed to be a movie, not a still.  If the girl has returned your look and then turned her gaze coyly to her drink, looking up once more through fluttering eyelashes, you are supposed to take the flutter as the body language equivalent of the green flag.  Sending a drink or a flower is always a nice touch, but the generous gestures don’t mean much without a little follow-through.  Although twenty-first century women sometimes will grow bold a brazen, even the most fearless prefer that you take the initiative.  If the look, the drink, and the “thank you” have opened the door, you are supposed to walk through it.  A simple “hello” will work just fine.

Whoa, tiger, hold on there

“Hi, I’m Frank.  I want you to be the mother of my children.”  Really?  You don’t even know this girl, but somehow your tiny mind has raced full speed fast-forward to life in the suburbs?  Some woman may admire the imagination that drives your active fantasy life, but no self-respecting woman really can respond to your statement with anything more than, “I’m sure you do.”  Think about it: Do you see or intuit something in this woman that suggests more than average attraction, or are you just flat-out lying?  When you can put the words to your attraction, you have your opening gambit.  “You have the warmest, deepest eyes.  They say, ‘compassion’.”  If you discover you have nothing, a simple “hello” will do.

Hold the innuendo

One girl’s clever innuendo is another girl’s flat-out gross, and you cannot know where to set the boundaries until you know the girl.  Do not start testing too soon.  Even the ostensibly innocent “if you know what I mean…” has potential to offend.  Word play can be witty and fun, but it easily can go too far.  Think about it: The cleverness and intelligence in your conversation depend more on your ability to listen than your gift with words, and questions contribute more to continuing conversation than assertions ever could.  Most guys imagine they are funny when they really are just crass.  Better to go for the honest answer than the joke.

It’s not all about you

If the girl wanted your resume, your credit report, or a measure of your status, she would have Googled you or asked for the “carfax” for your Mustang. Think about it: Do you really want to be known as the sum total of your accomplishments and possessions, or would you like to be known and loved for your character and values?  A good woman will judge you according to the depth of your soul, not the thickness of your wallet.  And, in fairness to women’s exquisite powers of observation, you should assume the girls have estimated your net worth according to your clothes and potable spirits, noting that, if you are too flashy with your cash, you probably are middle management at best.  Think even more about it: Isn’t getting to know the girl the whole point of the conversation?  Read the symbolism in her clothing, jewelry, and accessories, asking insightful questions.  An antique ring may suggest strong family ties; find out.  A big bundle of keys may suggest lots of professional responsibilities; ask.  Careworn hands may imply a life of very hard work; learn about it.  Your questions say a lot more about you than your trophies ever could.

Beyond the fatal flirtation flubs and fumbles, you can deliver a come-on dead on arrival.  If you’re here with your girlfriend and you’re hitting on another girl while she visits the ladies’ room, you are destined to drive home alone.  Similarly, if you have been working-up a sweat while you run your best game on the bombshell blonde in the corner booth, and then, shot down and dismissed, you approach the knock-off version of that same blonde with the same sorry game, you might as well strap on your galoshes and begin the long slog home.  Sometimes, you just have to retreat and run through your where-did-I-go-wrong? thinking.

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